My dragons are bigger than yours!I am the Khaleesi of excuses. I rely on them. I clutch them close to my bosom like the baby dragons they are.

Because they are, in fact, dragons. And if there’s one thing we know about dragons, regardless of whether they’re from George R.R. Martin or J.R.R. Tolkien, it’s that they’re flying fiends of fiery…uh…fiery crap, really. Excuses are like a deluge of nonsense, and like dragons, they aren’t even real.

I’ve had a bunch of excuses for not writing lately. They’re probably the same most writers have. I was trying to call them “explanations,” in a further attempt to justify what I knew was really just sort of a scared-to-write-anything-because-I-want-it-to-be-good-but-I’ll-probably-mess-it-up laziness. Part lazy, bigger part scared.

Natalie Goldberg says, in her book Writing Down the Bones

This is the practice school of writing. … You practice whether you want to or not. You don’t wait for inspiration and a deep desire to run. It’ll never happen, especially if you are out of shape and have been avoiding it.

I had been avoiding it, though I was couching that in more psychological jargon than an early Woody Allen movie. I thought, if I waited long enough, that this nonsense would drift apart like a fog dissipating at sunrise. That didn’t happen. (It never does that. I already knew that. Two scoops of derp with sprinkles of stupid and a generous dollop of denial flavored whipped topping!) Instead, it just got worse. The dragons, like they tend to do, just got bigger. And hungrier. As these dragons matured into ever more gargantuan proportions, they were no longer satisfied with the lambs my mind typically offered (Facebook posts, emails). Nah. They wanted sacrificial virgins dressed in flowing garments.

Like dragons, they were completely fictitious, and yet, on the big screen of my imagination, they were ginormous soul-sucking behemoths that frightened me into submission. Really, it was almost like Smaug was living in my skull. Without the gold. Sigh…

There was only one solution. (And no, it wasn’t to hire a worthy knight. Or even a thieving Hobbit!) Kill them. Which really just meant write something. Anything. It didn’t even have to be good. And, like the bullies they are, they were gone. They didn’t even fly away as much as vaporize.

The pen is mightier than the sword after all!

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17 Thoughts on “Imagine Dragons

  1. Ironic and twisted. Don’t let those dragons burn you where it counts. Much enjoyed.

    • pioneercynthia on 9 April 2014 at 2:41 pm said:

      Thanks! It’s always weird to me, after I’m done writing, that I was afraid at all. But then this attitude crops up again and again. Nonsense.

  2. Denise Jackson on 9 April 2014 at 2:15 pm said:

    You have slain the dragons, and slain them well! This delighted me. So glad you have come off conqueror!

    • pioneercynthia on 9 April 2014 at 2:39 pm said:

      Thank you! It only seemed doubtful until I actually started. Then, it was easy! That is always the case, and yet I am not good at remembering it.

  3. Lynn Kauppi on 9 April 2014 at 6:33 pm said:

    Wish I would have heard these words when I was writing my dissertation!

  4. “I am the Khaleesi of excuses” has to be quote of the month!!! I loved this post.

  5. “Two scoops of derp….” Laughing over here! Thanks for the reminder that we do have the tools to slay the dragons.

    • pioneercynthia on 10 April 2014 at 2:22 am said:

      I’m not good at remembering this, so I’m thinking… maybe a tattoo…?

      • Well, a tattoo is what it took for me to remember the true (not skewed) nature of God. And I still need frequent reminders anyway.

        • pioneercynthia on 10 April 2014 at 11:35 am said:

          I always wanted to get a tattoo, but I could never decide on what to get. It’s still a thought, but I feel like (I shouldn’t even say this) that I’m too old.

  6. Flying fiends of fiery crap. Love it. Great post.

    • pioneercynthia on 10 April 2014 at 2:20 am said:

      That’s what’s so dumb about them. All illusion. Honestly, actual poop is way more legitimate than all this illusory drudge.

  7. Entertainingly witty!

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